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Matty’s Corralled Thoughts

New education guidelines are being introduced by the Department of Education.  Schools will be forced to publish teacher’s salaries, qualifications and sickness rates in a plan to drive up classroom standards. Also included are these new guidelines are the following:
• Each child will be given a reading test at the age of six to identify those struggling after a year of full-time school.
• Children aged five and 11 will be assessed alongside a “readiness to progress” measure, ensuring they are fit to start primary education and move on to secondary school.

The changes being implemented will allow parents to rate primary and secondary schools according detailed new information that will show not only the quality and experience of staff but also whether they offer value for the money being spent per pupil.

This all sounds too good to be true.  I do not necessarily agree with the sickness reporting policy, but the rest sounds like a great idea.  Can this really be happening in America? Are we going to start holding some public employees accountable?  Don’t get too excited if you are among the sacred of all employees in the land- this is happening over in the United Kingdom…incompetency still rules on this side of the pond!

You are going to love this new diet.  Eat only nachos, Oreos, Twinkies, Nutty-Bars, sugary cereals, nacho chips and powdered donuts.  For 10 weeks, Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University, ate only one of those items listed above every three hours, instead of meals.  Two-thirds of his total intake came from junk food.  He also took a multivitamin pill and drank a protein shake daily.  He also ate vegetables, typically a can of green beans or three to four celery stalks.  The result after his 10-week diet? Mr. Haub lost 27 pounds. He wants everyone to remember that the amount of calories you consume is the most important dynamic when consuming food.  This must be the diet Obama is on since he has been President.  Is it only me or has he turned into the ever shrinking man before our eyes…Michelle’s obesity diet must be working!

Former President George Bush launches his new book Decision Points (order on our Amazon link) today.  The excerpts that have been released are very insightful.  He writes about his drinking, faith, pardons, 9-11 and the Gulf War among other things.  He makes no apologies about the steps he took to keep Americans safe.  A clown, in a dunk tank, at a county fair experiences more water than any terrorist did while in our custody.  (Especially here in Nebraska!)   Speaking of clowns, I had a friend who went to a funeral of one once.   All of the clowns friends arrived in one car…

I have to agree with Bush’s interview answers about his legacy- history will be much kinder to him then the press ever was.  He mentions that in reference to the Reagan and Ford funerals.  Mr. Bush and the rest of us feel President Reagan didn’t get the recognition he deserved till well after his death.  That is unfortunate.  As for Ford, I can still picture Chevy Chase falling down the steps on Saturday Night Live.  That pretty much sums up the job he did…a Michigan Wolverine never seems to get it quite right!

President Obama and his teleprompter continue their Indian /Asian odyssey at a great cost to the American taxpayers. The Daily Mail (UK) reported “Probably not since the days of the Pharaohs or the more ludicrous Roman Emperors has a head of state travelled in such pomp and expensive grandeur as the President of the United States of America.”   He has left the carbon footprint equal to a small volcano.  Now is a great time to be thinking about outsourcing our President to India…

Speaking of India, its a good thing that their god Genesh has multiple arms.  They will need the extra help in manning a shovel while the President spreads all that manure around the country…

Finally, I watched the first show, on TBS,  of the return of “Conan” last night on basic cable.  I have not been a fan of late night since the night before Arsenio Hall had Bill Clinton play the saxophone.  I have been luke warm towards Conan in the past.  He has a few moments where he really shines and other times- it is a loud thud.  Conan can recover well from a loud thud, but not as smooth as the gold standard- Johnny Carson.  Last night’s premiere reminded me why I didn’t watch him much when he was on NBC.  I tend to watch Cartoon Network for some odd reason.  Conan did have a funny monologue and to summarize the time he was away, he ended it with this “A lot’s happened in the news since I went off the air — and I was hoping I could cover it all in one joke. But then I realized that’s like trying to keep an Icelandic volcano from wearing Lady Gaga’s meat dress while a trapped Chilean miner cleans up the BP oil spill…Brett Favre’s pen%*.”   Others did tune in to Conan as well.  He had 4.2 million viewers and beat out Leno(3.5M), Letterman (3.4M) and John Stewart(1.3M).   Whatever criticism he receives, NBC was very unprofessional the way they gave him the Tonight Show and took it away 7 months later.  Of course, this is the same management that took away Keith Olbermann last week and put him back on the air this week.  Keith has a fondness to become more irate over a chopped down tree than extinguishing the life an unborn baby.  Nice to know, in his eyes, humans don’t rate as well as vegetation…

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