By Skip Chatterson - June 27, 2011
Government waste (state by state), Part 2
Florida – $5,400,00.00 to deal with the surprising and alarming problem of elderly residents in retirement communities that are forming senior citizen gangs.
Nevada – $580,000.000 to determine if Christians would object to slot machines being placed in church lobbies.
Oklahoma – Because they have the largest Native American population in the U.S., $2,300,000.00 to research the possibility of allowing and encouraging various tribes to scalp violent criminals, to help alleviate the overcrowded state prisons.
Missouri – $1,800,00.00 to try find if the person or persons who decided that they should share Kansas City with Kansas, was influenced by drugs or alcohol.
Kansas – $1,800,00.00 to try find if the person or persons who decided that they should share Kansas City with Missouri, was influenced by drugs or alcohol.
Wyoming – $210,000.00 on what makes people that were born and raised there, refuse to admit it after they’ve moved to another state.
Vermont – $910,000.00 to figure out why people are dumb enough to come there in the fall, just to look at their leaves.
Pennsylvania – $1,700,000.00 to try to determine why is it that they have the most Quakers in the country, but they consume the least amount of Oat Meal.
South Carolina – $3,500,000.00 on how to merge with North Carolina into one state, so they can finally say that they have a successful college basketball team.
North Carolina – $7,000,000.00 to conduct a study to see if it would be illegal or unethical to build a fence along their southern border to prevent people from South Carolina from entering their state without authorization.
Texas – $3,100,000.00 for a survey to see if they should lower the age from 21 to 10 for people to legally be able carry a gun in public.
Hawaii – $2,400,000.00 for research to determine why all of their tropical islands are so humid.
Colorado – $2,100,000.00 to conduct experiments to see if Coors Beer is indirectly responsible for so many drunken skiers starting avalanches.
Idaho – $4,700,000.00 to be spent on therapy for the very depressed militia groups scattered all over the state, that now realize that the U.S. Government is so pathetic, it’s no longer worth overthrowing.
Iowa – $3,300,000.00 to determine where to open car dealerships, since most of the population only drive tractors.
Arkansas – $210,000.00 in private investigator fees, to try to locate the only 142 women in the entire state, that weren’t hit on by Bill Clinton when he was governor.
Michigan – $375,000.00 to conduct a study on how many people would volunteer their time to move the Detroit Lions… to anywhere out of the state.
Louisiana – $4,500,000.00 to mail out flyers to all residents, to inform them that voodoo will now be an accredited course in all public schools.
Montana – $1,300,000.00 for town hall meetings in all counties, to decide if the should abolish their present law, which mandates that every household should have a least one pick-up truck.
Massachusetts – $680,000.00 to determine the best way to have the letter “R” officially strickened from the alphabet.
New York – $8,725,000.00 to fund research that could determine the best way to prevent unscrupulous politicians from corrupting organized crime.
New Hampshire – $740,000.00 to determine, if their state motto which is “Live Free or Die” is the motivation of people becoming suicidal if their welfare applications are rejected.
Connecticut – $2,450,000.00 to send out newsletters all over the east coast, reminding them that theirs is the only New England state that’s not owned by the Kennedys.
Nebraska – $814,000.00 to determine why so many visitors that come there, leave feeling much better about their own state.
Delaware – $3,225,000.00 for tv and newspaper ads, informing potential tourists that former Senator Joe Biden’s lack of intellect is not consistent with the “normal” people of Delaware.
Oregon – $5,100,00.00 for brochures to tell tourists, that since Oregon passed a law making public nudity legal, it’s a good state to be from… far from.
Minnesota – $4,550,000.00 for extensive scientific research to determine, that considering their winter temperature, why they don’t have large populations of penguins and polar bears.
Georgia – $195,000.00 to see if it can be determined, that when Ray Charles sang the song about “Georgia”, was it really on his mind.
New Mexico – $1,075,000.00 for several televised debates to determine if they should pick out a new state flower, or let it remain as the tumbleweed.
Indiana – $590,000.00 to investigate if Notre Dame has a history of discriminating against people that have hunchbacks.
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