By Skip Chatterson - December 16, 2011
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – MSNBC accuses Fox News of being extremely unpatriotic. Phil Griffin the President of MSNBC, states that Fox News still refuses to submit their weekly guest list and discussion topics to the White House for approval before they air.
BREAKING NEWS – Boston, Massachusetts – Doctors from Massachusetts General Hospital and scientists from NASA, confirm that a Martian was nearly beaten to death by a Boston crowd. After the interplanetary spacecraft landed and a tall green human-like being exited, it was kicked, stomped, and punched because it was wearing a NY Yankees hat.
BREAKING NEWS – Washington D.C. – Congress approves a law that prohibits people who allow Santa Claus to come down their chimney delivering presents, from later filing breaking and entering charges against him if he didn’t leave the gift that they wanted.
BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – On the House floor, Congresswoman Barbara Lee states that the GOP is trying to deny blacks the right to vote. She also added that if President Obama is not re-elected next year, by 2014 slavery will be reinstituted in most southern states, blacks will no longer be able to travel within America without the government’s authorization, and republicans will permanently ban professional basketball.
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