By Skip Chatterson - January 29, 2012
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – Mesa, Arizona – Arizona’s governor Jan Brewer, is seen in a heated discussion with President Obama over immigration. Brewer was visibly animated as she demanded that the President secure the southern borders. Obama was just as passionate about his position, and responded by saying that he would do it, only if she would allow any illegal immigrants in Arizona to vote in the 2012 election, as long as they promise to vote democrat.
BREAKING NEWS – Pyongyang, North Korea – Two generals get a firm grip on new North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, trying to restrain him. They grabbed him when he began salivating, and was about to run after an ice cream truck that happened to be passing by.
BREAKING NEWS – Sacramento, California – According to a staff member of Senator Nancy Pelosi, she has some very negative information on Newt Gingrich. It stems from an incident in 2008, as Pelosi was flying into Los Angeles International Airport. She allegedly has evidence proving that Gingrich was responsible for a mechanical malfunction with the landing gear on her broom.
BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Jesse Jackson, along with Congresswoman Maxine Waters, and Congressman Hank Johnson are demanding that a law gets passed to compensate blacks who had ancestors that were slaves. The law would mandate that blacks would receive 25% of all products made out of cotton, including tee shirts, shorts, and medicine bottles. So far, no pharmaceutical company or Fruit of the Loom have returned their calls.
BREAKING NEWS – Tehran, Iran – Iran threatens to take action against the United States if sanctions are targeted toward their nation. Because a fifth of the world’s crude oil flows through the Strait of Hormuz, Iran states that they will start charging U.S. ships toll, forcing them to spend a fortune in dimes and quarters.
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