Published Articles
Unconfirmed Breaking News/May 21st
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – While being interviewed on MSNBC, former chairman of the NAACP Julian Bond, encourages the Internal Revenue Service to continue to target the Tea Party, and anyone else that aligns themselves with conservatives. He explained that the IRS should…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/May 9th
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Hillary Clinton tells Congress that she and her former staff at the State Department are currently going over all of the documents regarding the attack on the U.S. Embassy in Benghazi. She explained that she is confident that within the next…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/Mar 19th
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – After conducting an investigation which included video surveillance, a private detective states that he has proof that “American Idol” judge Nicki Minaj and Mrs. Potato Head, are the exact same person. The unnamed detective said he has hundreds of photos that…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/Mar 6th
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – After years of speculation, the Democratic National Committee finally produces compelling evidence of their most loyal and dependable voters on any given election day.
BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Former Indiana coach…
Feminists: Save Nasty Comments For Women Who Aren’t Feminists
Lena Dunham, a person I was completely unaware of a couple of months ago, has come out with great advice for the women of America. In a tweet to her followers Dunham tweeted:
Ladies: Anne Hathaway is a feminists and she has amazing teeth. Let’s save our bad attitudes for
…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/Feb 14th
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – Sacramento, California – Governor Jerry Brown is upset with Texas Governor Rick Perry for running ads in California encouraging businesses to move to the Lone Star State because of the “low taxes, sensible regulations and fair legal system.” Brown countered by running ads stating…
My New York State of Mind
Another one of President Obama’s speechwriters is leaving the White House for Hollywood. He wishes to pursue a screenwriting career. After 4 years of writing for him, he became an expert at fiction…
An Iranian monkey has officially blamed Jews for sending him into space….
Kinda funny how the colors…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/Jan 31st
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – Despite an all-star cast, “Movie 43” is being universally called the “worst flick ever made” by every critic in America. According to reports from several cities nationwide it is so bad, that many theater owners have been arrested and tossed into…
My New York State of Mind
Michelle Obama is being sued by the Cleveland Browns for wearing one of their football helmets in public without permission…
The San Francisco 49ners & the Baltimore Ravens will square off in Super Bowl 47 next Sunday . Thanks to Ray Lewis, the Ravens have a killer defense…
Nice crocodile…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/Jan 14th
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
10 predictions from some well known psychics for 2013:
1. Rosie O’Donnell is hospitalized when she has an allergic reaction to wearing lipstick for the first time.
2. Through Ancestry.com, Tom Cruise will discovery that he is a direct descendant of munchkins.
3. Senator Nancy Pelosi will…
Matty’s Corralled Thoughts
Washington elites are looking into the 2009 idea, of Georgia blogger only known as “Beowulf”, of releasing a trillion dollar coin, made of platinum. No point in obtaining a trillion dollars worth of platinum. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner is warming up to it. The idea being the treasury could create…
My New York State of Mind
I cannot stand Gloria Steinem…she reminds me of Schelprock from Pebbles & Bam Bam Show….the guy whose mere presence “woowsie wowsie whoah” would cause crowds to flee and buildings to collapse.
Director David R. Ellie died this week. Anyone remember the movie Snakes on the Plane? I never unintentionally laughed…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/Dec 21st
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Time Magazine announces that President Obama will be their choice for Man of the Year for 2012. They say that he was given the title because of how hard and tirelessly he worked, doing everything he could to…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/Nov. 15
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – MSNBC’s Chris Matthews is again defending his statement that he was thankful for Hurricane Sandy, because it helped get President Obama reelected. He also said, that if it’ll help the democratic candidate get elected, in 2016 he wouldn’t…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/Sept 28th
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – President Obama defends his decision to make another appearance on “The View”. He said because of the important upcoming election, he must pander to one of his most loyal demographics, which consists of politically misinformed dimwitted women.
…
Unconfimed Breaking News/Sept 4th
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – Denver Colorado – Sandra Fluke, who famously testified at a Congressional hearing that the federal government should pay for her birth control, states that she plans on taking it one step further. She tells a Denver crowd, that she will soon be lobbying for…
Ask Matty: Musical Chairs
Dear Matty:
Am I missing something with Clint Eastwood and the chair?
Buffy, Vancouver
Dear Buffy,
I must admit I was doing my part to stimulate the economy the evening Mr. Eastwood was talking to the chair. I too, was confused when i started watching it mid-way through…
Matty’s Corraled Thoughts
For those youngsters out there still thinking of getting that tattoo, Russia has revealed the tattooed decorated body
of a 25 year old Ukok princess. She is thought to have died and been preserved for over 2,500 years. For the past 19 years the mummy has been kept mainly at a…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/Aug 11
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – Denver, Colorado – While addressing an audience of almost exclusively women at the Auraria Event Center, President Obama states that it is unfair for Michelle Obama not to be paid for what she does as the First Lady. He said that if that changes,…
Unconfirmed Breaking News/July 22nd
AUTHOR: BLAKE GRANTHAM
BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama refuses to back down from his statement, that anyone that who has ever created a successful business, cannot take credit for building it. He went on to say that the Wright Brothers should not have taken credit for building…
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